Where Are Our Mel Robbins, Brené Browns, and Gabby Bernsteins?

Part 1 of 3: Starting the Conversation

I posed a question on social media recently: Why aren’t there any Black Mel Robbins, Brené Browns, Jen Sinceros, or Gabby Bernsteins?

The responses were interesting, insightful, and honestly they confirmed a lot of what I, as a spiritual coach, have known (or come to realize) about what it means to be a Black woman competing in the spiritual wellness and self-help industry.

This isn’t a question I just thought up one day. It’s one I’ve been asking myself for years. When I entered this industry eight years ago, I was inspired by brilliant Black coaches like Abiola Abrams and Rosetta Thurman, powerful women with real followings and real impact. But even they don’t carry the same name recognition as their white counterparts. That gap has stayed with me.

This is going to be a series of at least three parts, and this is part one. Let’s talk about what came up when I asked the question.

“It’s a Community Issue”

One response came from fellow life coach who is a Dating & Relationship coach whose story, insight, and teachings make her a genuine resource to the community and yet her following barely reflects that. I know follower counts aren’t everything, but we live in a digital world, and that’s largely where we find our people. Her answer to my question was simple: “They have support. It’s a community issue.”

I agree with her.

In the Black community, we’ve been conditioned to believe that white is better, more valuable, more reliable. That “the White man’s water is colder” mentality runs deep, and it doesn’t just show up in the self-help space. It shows up every time we support Black-owned businesses. We hold our businesses to a far higher standard than we hold anyone else. Expecting top-tier service, top-tier products, and rock-bottom prices while extending far more grace to businesses that have made it clear they don’t want us there, don’t see us as worthy customers, or assume the worst about us the moment we walk in.

So when it comes to those of us in life coaching, self-help, and spiritual or holistic spaces, the expectation flips again: charge less, give more, be available to everyone, all the time. And even when we deliver, the support often stops at “you’re great”. It rarely becomes “let me tell everyone I know about you.” I don’t know if it’s shame or something else, but here’s the thing: praise doesn’t build a business. Referrals do. If I helped you, tell the world. Not just so I can grow but so the next woman who needs me knows I exist. That’s community.

Okay. Let me get back on track.

What White Coaches Get That We Don’t

Here’s what I’ve noticed: white life coaches can be mediocre and still build an audience. Other white people as well as plenty of black people and people of color will listen, buy the book, subscribe to the podcast, share it, enroll in the program, etc. It compounds.

The breakdown happens when it comes to the Black community understanding how much we stand to gain by supporting the ones of us who’ve answered this call. It’s a real loss. And not the kind that fixes itself.

The Trust Problem

Someone else raised the trust factor. That it’s hard for us to trust each other because so many people pass themselves off as experts or coaches when really, they just want your money. That’s a fair point. But it’s not unique to us. You’ll find scammers and snake-oil salesmen in every community, everywhere. That’s when discernment has to do its job by separating the real ones from the ones just running a hustle. I’ll go deeper into this in part two.

Where We Go From Here

Here’s what I believe we, as a community, need to work on so we can truly show up for the people in these sacred spaces who are not here to scam or take advantage of anyone:

1. Define what community actually means to us. We are not a monolith, and we never will be. But if we’re seeking support, we have to get clear on what we need from community and what we’re willing to bring to it. Community is a two-way exchange, not a one-way ask.

2. Do the work around our money blocks. This is a key piece of the wealth gap in our community, and I’ll be teaching on it directly. We have to name the energetic blocks we carry around money as far as the scarcity mindset, the quiet romanticizing of struggle and start releasing them. I go deeper into this in my book, The 7 Steps to Spiritual Liberation for Black Women: Healing Beyond Religion and Reconnecting to the Divine on Your Own Terms, and I’m teaching it live inside Rooted & Radiant: The Sacred Sisterhood, which is open for enrollment now.

3. Don’t shy away from the shadow work. Part of that is honestly reckoning with what organized religion, Christianity specifically , has done to us generationally, and what it will take to deconstruct that so we can heal the trauma still living in our DNA. If you think that history doesn’t shape how we support (or don’t support) Black women and men in this industry, it absolutely does.

I could go deeper here, and I will in the upcoming parts 2 and 3. This was meant to introduce the topic and start the conversation, not finish it. You may disagree with parts of this, and that’s more than okay. We’re not a monolith. But I’d challenge you to sit with it for a moment, because I believe we’re being called by the ancestors to step into our rightful place. And we can’t do that without first being honest about what’s standing in the way.

With much love,

Allison R. 🌻